I see the best people at Taco Bell.

I eat at Taco Bell way too often. That's pretty much common knowledge by now, but I figured I'd mention it anyway. They tore down the old Taco Bell near me and built a brand new state-of-the-art Taco Bell on its smoldering, mild-sauce-flavored ruins. It's pretty nice inside, all shiny, new and clean. This won't last long, of course, but I'm going to savor the newness of the restaurant while it's there. Why? Because the dregs of the earth seem to be the only people that frequent this Taco Bell. Wow. I mean, these people are scum. It's kind of like what the crew at prison would be if it were coed, children were allowed, and we had access to Bean Burrito Especials. We're all cons out in the yard at Taco Bell.

I saw one of the ugliest women I've ever seen there yesterday. Her ugliness was enhanced by the fact that she was wearing a beat-up old t-shirt that said "Dangerous Beauty" on the front. It had one of those patterns like with roses and roses bushes intertwining around a six-shooter and stupid crap like that. It was awesome. She actually had a rather thin frame, which made her gut and breasts that appeared to be inverted somehow all the more evident. She had on a jean skirt that was way too short to cover up the hair on her legs. The hair on her head was a greasy, dirty brown and looked to have been brushed and washed around the same era that the legs were last shaved. Her rotten, crooked teeth were stained yellow, likely from an intense combination of nicotine and Meximelts. The wrinkled, leathery, pockmarked skin on her face showed how hard a "dangerous beauty" lives. In other words, she was the complete package. She was probably only about 24 or 25, which makes one wonder what her potential is for the future. The sky's the limit. I'm sure she had a great personality, though. Anyone willing to wear a shirt that says "dangerous beauty" just screams awesome personality. Either way, it was considerate of her to give everyone a warning about the whole dangerous part. Wouldn't want anyone to get hurt by her beauty, after all.

Waiting in line behind this woman, I realized something. It's in those moments that I most wish I had a camera phone. I think the concept of a camera phone is pretty stupid in general, but I always wish I had proof to show you guys that I don't make up this stuff about the westside. I'm sure the guy who saw the Loch Ness Monster had the same thing go through his head, too.

Before you ask, no I didn't get her number. I did have a rather tasty Baja Chalupa, though.