I either need to gain a few pounds or lose a few pounds.

So, in the course of my whole working out and general self-improvement deal, I have noticed something. I used to buy large boxer briefs, as they would fit my size-34 waist just fine. A week or so ago, I realized that the larges were just too darn large on me. Either I've lost enough body fat for them to now be loose on me or I've just stretched them out too much. The stretching thing is unlikely since they're fairly new and boxer briefs should be meant to last more than a few months, considering I tend to change my underwear daily and all. Note the use of the word "tend" in that last sentence. I ain't gonna talk in absolutes, here, people. I'm only human.

Anyway, to remedy the boundlessly-baggy boxer brief situation, I bought some mediums when I was at Ye Olde Super Targét the other night. The problem I discovered today is that the mediums are just a little bit too small for me. Things be getting a little constricted downstairs and riding up on me when I'm trying to get down at the 311 show tonight. So now I have a dilemma. I just don't have any comfortable underwear to wear right now. I think I'm stuck at a damn 33 waist, right in-between the proper even-numbered sizes that manufacturers stick to. I'm gonna have to eat better and do more cardio or I'm gonna have to put on some body fat in order to fit into the old ones. I think the choice is clear, sadly. Adios, Taco Bell, you will be missed. Same with you, my 60-90 minutes at the gym, which will soon balloon to around two hours.

I sense the beginnings of a career change, actually. I could be a boxer brief model. All advertisers would need are tastefully-angled crotch shots of me wearing perfectly-fitted boxer briefs for their Sunday advertising circular. I now have something to strive for. The best part is that you guys will never know if it's me or not. Well, only the lucky ladies will know, if you catch my drift. This sounds like a plan of action. Yeah, we totally doin' this.