Home again.

Back in that land of working high speed internet, working phones (both land line and cell), working toilets, working sinks that allow you to brush your teeth, working showers that actually let you shower and weather that doesn't suck. Let's just say I'm glad to be back in Florida. I'm in a much better mood already, but I'm a little tired. It's been a long day of travel. Not good when you're circling Atlanta and you can see 9 other planes in the air circling with you. Die Hard 2, anyone?

Ok, this will be a test to see if my readership has returned or not. Particularly my female readership. I am going to tell a story and I need to hear what your take is, ladies. I guess the guys can join in with their guesses, but I get the feeling they'll be just as confused as I am. Anyway...

So I'm boarding the plane in Minneapolis. I am seated in row 11, so I'm one of the last on the plane since they start from the back and all. As I'm getting on, there's a very cute girl in one of the first-class seats. She's one of those girls with really big brown eyes, long brown hair, barely needs any makeup to look great, trim figure and, most importantly, not wearing a ring. Pretty much marking off more entries than normal on the "things Maki looks for in a woman physically" checklist right there. We make eye contact, I smile and she smiles a killer smile right back. This is good. Too bad I'm going to be sitting 4 rows back. Anyway, I don't think much of it until we get to Atlanta and I go to the gate for my next flight. As I approach my gate, who do I see sitting there, waiting for the flight to Jacksonville? After as crappy a trip as I had up that point, this was fate's way of tipping the scales back to me. I go out to the main hallway and make a few phone calls, waiting for the seats to fill in a bit. I know nobody will take the one immediately next to her for at least a little while since the rule of airports is that one must always sit every other seat until there are too many people waiting and it's time to fill the rest of the seats. Can't go too early, that's just a little too bold, at least for a subtle guy like me.

Once I figure the gate has reached it's passenger saturation point, I head over and ask if the seat next to her is taken. Of course it isn't. I mention how I passed by her on the plane from Minneapolis and get the conversation going. She's got one of those soft-sounding voices that's just as cute as she is. She's bummed the first class seats for this flight were all booked and she's in row 23 now. I joke about how I can strongarm whoever's next to me in row 11 to trade with her. She laughs, probably not sure if I'm serious or not. In all, we talk for about 15 minutes or so. I figure I'll stop by row 23 during the flight, or at worst, catch up with her at baggage claim once we land. Turbulence throughout the 45 minute flight makes the choice for me. I make it a point to (casually) run into her amongst the throngs of people waiting by baggage claim. We pick up the conversation, with her telling me how she wished she had taken me up on my offer since her seat in row 23 was wet for some reason. As we're joking about what the liquid might have been, her (presumably) mom and (presumably) sister show up. I back off, since I don't want to be weird pushy guy hanging too close during the family greetings and all. They say their hellos and then the mom asks, "so are you getting EXCITED yet?" And the sister says, "yeah, I mean, the wedding's only a couple months away!"

Hold the phone. WHAT?

"Yeah, I mean, the wedding's only a couple months away!"

Wait, what the hell? Wedding? What? She had a solid 20 minutes at least to mention this and never did? And where is the ring? Here I am figuring I'm about to get a super-high-potential girl's number and suddenly I'm staring the dreaded "W" word right in the face? This must be what it and NBA player feels like when he scores 50 points and loses the game. I immediately move into the first stage: denial. Maybe she's going to her best friend's wedding. Maybe she's the maid of honor. Nope, she mentions how she was just fitted for the dress but they need to make some kind of alterations to the train. Something tells me bridesmaids don't have trains. Dammit. At this point I figure I can lump all the other steps after denial into one group and take them elsewhere. I know it's not cool to just cut and run like this, but really, what other choice do I have? I slowly disengage, moving my way towards the baggage claim belts and the interminable wait for my damn luggage to come out. 20 minutes later it finally does. My last contact with her is a wave and a rather lame, "nice talking to you." My optimism balloon was completely deflated at that point. You can tell by how lame a goodbye that was. It was really the fitting capper to my weeklong family vacation of misery, though. Nothing worked properly, and my luck with women is no exception. Damn, I hate being me sometimes.

So, for all of those loyal readers who have put up with this long-winded story, what is your take on this? It's been my experience that married/engaged girls do two things within moments of talking to a man they've never met before. A) wear and flash not-so-subtly their engagement band/wedding ring, and B) casually mention fiance/husband within 75 seconds of the conversation starting. So what was the deal with this one? Let me know what you guys think. I need some perspective on this.

More to come to wrap up 2005... Promise.