A new form of worship?
As I was watching the Tampa Bay Bucs play the New York Jets on Sunday afternoon because the NFL hates me and only gives "regional" games, I saw a commercial. Living in Jacksonville, you see a lot of commercials for churches. This makes no sense to me, but the TV stations have to make their money somehow, I guess. Anyway, this commercial was for Bethel Baptist Church in beautiful downtown. This is the "other" church downtown, aside from First Baptist. I guess this is what you'd call the "black" church, for lack of a better term. First Baptist is the "white" church, and counts quite a few city council members as its churchgoers. Bethel Baptist does not. So I guess that's why they need to take out TV ads during football. So the pastor of Bethel Baptist was on, wearing his nice pin-striped vest and encouraging people to come to their Sunday and Wednesday services. At the end he says, and I quote this directly...
"Come on out. You'll have a good time, and we'll all get crunk for Christ."
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't "crunk" a combination of getting fucked up and drunk? Seriously. Talk about missing the point. I guess we'll all get stoned, grab a 40 and head to church. This got me to thinking, though. Were churches latching onto other trends before this? Were they all "getting grunge for God" in the early '90s? Were the "jump, jivin' and wailin' for Jesus" during that 6 months when swing made a comeback in '97? "Discoing for the divine savior" in the late '70s? I'm just curious, here.
There are lots of possibilities that don't even need to apply to churches and music. Especially in a religious town like this. Need to drum up some traffic for your clinic? "Liposuction for the Lord!" After all, Jesus had much better abs than Buddha, now, didn't he? Go to Iceman and Mr. Kicks to find "a suit fit for a Savior." Need more traffic to your bookstore? "Barnes & Noble has books besides the Bible! But not too many." Want to get that .005% of the population in Jax that is hip Jewish? Anywhere can use "Kickin' it Kabbalah-style." How about the .002% of the population in Jax that is Muslim? "Mongolian barbecue with Mohammed!" Worlds of possibilities, people. WORLDS.
I really need to start my own ad agency.
posted by Maki @ 1:10 PM
19 comments
19 Comments:
Finally I know what Mr. Kicks is all about. I always wondered.
There's a church or some kind of ministery thing sort of near my house called "Narrow Way Ministries." If that doesn't sum up the mindset of so many Christians in this country, I don't know what does.
The Kabbalah is actually a previously obscure sect of Jewish mysticism that all of the sons and daughters of Israel looked down upon.
I think "kicking it kosher" would probably reach a larger percentage.
Well, that's why I said hip-Jewish and not just Jewish. You've gotta appeal to the kids, after all. Sidecurls alone aren't gonna cut it.
And Mr. Kicks is the home of purple alligator-skin dress shoes. The best place on earth, if you ask me.
Say what you will about Narrow Way Ministries... At least they're honest about it.
Crunk? Are you serious?!
He actually said 'crunk'? Geez.
I've been to Mr. Kicks.
Had the hardest time getting a clerk to assist me even though they were staring at me out of the corner or their eyes the entire time.
Weird.
Let's all get crunk for Quanzah (or however the fuck you spell it!)
And people wonder why the city of Jacksonville will never be taken seriously on any kind of level.
Because you have 'ministers' saying "let's all get crunk for Christ."
At least you can change channels during commercials. I actually had a guy accost me a parking lot today and hand me a pamphlet that proclaimed, "Wicca: Why Jesus Thinks It's Wrong." Aarrgghh!
kzmtf
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
un that's "isn't"
(I hate typos)
I mean "um"
(darn it I did it again. I will stop typing horribly on your blog now)
Crunk? I sure hope the ad didn't holler it out in Lil Jon's voice either. How do you mix worship with Courvesier? Seriously though...Good piece Mak-1, shows how out of touch with reality (especially in a less-educated town like this) some still are. If you have to try that to get people to go to church, you can't possibly expect any positive or devoted results. And BTW First Baptist has a heck (I couldn't say hell when talking about a church) of a good softball team. Doesn't hurt that they have about 10,000 members to choose from and yet they still almost fell to the little blue engine that could...
YOU IDIOT. I AM A VERY EDUCATED "SAVED" MAN. THERE WILL COME A DAY THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO GIVE AN ACCOUNT FOR YOUR IGNORANCE. WHY DON'T YOU GO DOWN AND MAYBE DISCUSS PASTOR RUDOLPH'S SUIT WITH HIM. PERHAPS HE WILL TELL YOU THAT THERE WILL COME A TIME SATAN WILL TELL HIS DEMONS TO GET CRUNK WITH YOU ROASTING ON THE GRILL... PLEASE GIVE YOUR LIFE TO CHRIST BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, I KNOW THE FIRE WILL "BE CRUNK"
You know, you really need to work on your sales pitch, buddy. Calling me an idiot and then telling me what to do is probably the worst way to attempt to convert anyone. Plus, your computer comes equipped with a Caps Lock key. You're allowed to turn it off. Then again, I shouldn't need to inform an "educated" man of that fact.
I actually complimented Pastor Rudolph's vest. (That's his name?) It was very sharp. If I do see him I will also discuss how maybe he shouldn't endorse drinking and drug use as a way to worship Christ. Because that is EXACTLY what his commercial said. I'd like to say that somebody has informed him by now, but the commercial is still running. I guess not.
I'd just like to add that you know absolutely nothing of what faith I have. Don't even presume to judge me. Just because you found my site by searching for Iceman And Mr. Kicks in Google and didn't even read anything else in here doesn't give you that right. I'm glad you feel you've been saved. If you want to save others you may want to show compassion instead of judgement in the future.
And if that lovely comment was a joke, well, sorry for taking it seriously. Don't I feel dumb?
just for the record...crunk is a state of mind where there is a higher level of excitement and enrgey than normal... crunk does not mean 'f*cked up and drunk', if you actually paid attention to words instead of stereotyping things as you have in your posting, then you wouldn't have misunderstood what the pastor was trying to say... as a church goer, you should know that the pastor wasn't trying to say'grab a 40 and get drunk and come to service and praise the Lord if you can still stand up and function.' as a christian, you are to be christ-like and not judge others... so by placing a negative stereotype on another, how is that christ-like?
Bill Hicks put it best: "Fundamentalism breeds a lack of irony." If you can't see the irony and satire in this post, then I really feel for you. It would have been a pretty boring read, otherwise.
You've picked your definition of "crunk" and I've picked mine. You picked the "crunk for Christ" one and I've picked the "Li'l Jon" one (solely for humor value, keep in mind). And yes, I know exactly what the pastor meant. I also know that a majority of people will pick my definition. UrbanDictionary.com gives at least 10 different definitions, half with my meaning (or variations thereof) and half with yours.
This blog is not a conversion tool. It never will be. Quit misunderstanding the purpose. If those commercials get more people to join his church, then more power to him. It's just not the tack I would have taken in his shoes.
PS: I like to think Christ probably had a pretty good sense of humor, considering all the stupidity he had to put up with (and still does).
Man i miss all the best discussions this one rocked!!
I realize that I am finding this much too late, but a local "black" church down the street from me displayed the message, "Get krunk for Christ" for only two days. I thought it was amazingly funny, and took pictures. Good thing, because today, it's blank. What is the ruling on the spelling of the word? My students always use 'crunk', does it have a different meaning when the 'k' is used?
Maki, you are much closer to the truths of God than even the Anonymous poster who tried to chide you about Christ. Your post was spot on.
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