I paid my speeding ticket.

So, I decided not to fight the speeding ticket and went to the DMV on my lunch break. Luckily it's not too far from work and there weren't too many derelicts in line ahead of me. I'm waiting in line bored because there's no cute girls in line to have the, "so, what'd they catch you doing?" conversation. The only person I end up talking to is an old man in front of me in line who just can't tell stories as well as my neighbor Lillian used to. I mean, both of his stories SUCKED. The cop did tag him for the lamest ticket ever, though. Something about improperly pulling over. What kind of dick cop gives an old man a ticket for actually pulling over, just in the wrong place? Weak. The cop probably gave him a ticket for telling a lame story. I could see that.

Anyway, I get through the line and approach my teller drone girl to pay my fine and tell her I'm going to traffic school. As I'm swearing that I haven't been in the last 12 months and more than five times in my life, my attention is drawn to the front door. There's this guy just outside and he is absolutely FREAKING OUT. He's just knocked over the table of the lady who's taking names for some lame petition about voter representation or something like that. He's screaming, but what he's screaming doesn't seem to make any sense. He bolts off, screaming more. Everybody inside is like, "what the hell just happened?" The lady outside is pissed. She's yelling at crazy guy when this other dude comes around the corner. This guy's t-shirt is absolutely coated in blood. I'm thinking, "holy shit, this dude is coated in blood," and suddenly he just attacks the petition lady. I mean he's gotta be high on something because he's just clawing at her with his bare hands and biting her. She is, understandably, screaming and freaking out worse than the first dude. By now the cop that was inside making his way out is all over this, trying to pry the guy off the lady, and all three are quickly coated in blood. The cop isn't having any luck restraining the guy, because he's flailing about wildly, biting at the air. Backup isn't showing up quick enough, and the cop didn't look to be in the best shape, physically. It looked like the crazy dude was getting the upper hand in the wrestling match going on.

And then it happens.

Crazy bloody dude flings himself around and both he and the cop come crashing through the front window of the DMV.

HOLY SHIT.

Now the cop and the crazy dude are sliced up and even bloodier, laying underneath the now-shattered window pane. The lady outside is getting up, bloody and frazzled. Her neck is bleeding pretty bad; the guy must've bitten her deep. She's crawling through the glass of the window, obviously in shock. Old Man With Crappy Stories (who was making his way out when everything went down) is asking the cop if he's okay. To Old Man and everybody else's surprise, both the cop and crazy dude get up. They decide to stop fighting each other and grab the old man. They toss him down to the floor and suddenly petition lady joins in too, clawing and biting at this guy. They make quick work of him, literally tearing him to shreds. Then they start walking slowly towards the rest of us inside, moaning "brainssssssssss....."

It's then that I snap out of it, pay my fine and leave.

What did you expect? Nothing of note happened at the DMV. I ate a turkey, ham & bacon melt at Subway afterwards. I actually made it back in time to save myself 15 minutes on my timecard. Thrilling, I know.