There's Something About Maki

Ok, I'm just gonna come out and say it.

I signed up for a Myspace account.

I know, I know, I know. I have a habit of mocking Myspace, but really, is it that different from this blog? Well, actually, yes, it is. It's much different. In a vaguely creepier way. You see, pretty much everyone on Myspace has a picture and posts pictures and has all sorts of weird info about themselves. Anonymity is NOT encouraged on Myspace. They also put music on their pages so if you have the sound turned up you get blasted by shitty music or a shitty video for a shitty song as soon as you click on their profile. Be glad Blogspot people don't do that. But I digress. In order to see pictures and find out things about people, you have to be registered. And once you register it's kind of fun to fill out the stupid music part and TV part and movies part of your profile, and before you know it, well, you get the picture. So I have a Myspace page. Now I can cyberstalk people without restriction, because isn't that what the internet is all about? Um, don't answer that.

Myspace is a lot different from blogging here because the profile is the most important part of Myspace, not the blog. Sure, I could type up all sorts of stuff there, but chances are nobody would read it. They'd just click on my picture of me with massive arms and then skim to see if I like any of the same music. Then click on somebody in my "friends" list and move on. Pretty opposite to the Blogspot mentality of reading what someone has to say before finding out who they are. Therein lies the weird part. Here, I get intelligent people who have something to say. I have people who read this before I ever posted a photo, when I was just a vaguely anonymous pair of sneakers. What do I get at Myspace? I get weird "friend" requests. Very weird.

The first request I received was from "Dalia." Dalia is 25, lives in San Jose and has a picture of herself in a bikini. She looks pretty good in it. I think, "hey, maybe I was wrong about this Myspace thing." Then I click on her profile. She has 561 friends. All of them are male. Among these males I see so many shirtless guys with waxed chests that it feels like I've stumbled into a gay bar. I decide that adding myself to her collection of muscular men is not the best way to get started on Myspace.

Then I get a request from "Rock-It Music Collective." They are from "Netherlands, Florida." They are 101 years old. They do not like, well, pretty much every musical genre that exists. They then go on to name bands from pretty much every musical genre as their favorites. I listen to a LOT of music and I'm as baffled as you. Seriously. They seem to do some sort of music promotion, but it's at this point I realize they're just spam and move on.

Next I get a message from "Marilyn." Well, it's not Marilyn. It's Marilyn's friend, who does not have a Myspace profile. But she thinks mine is really cool and wants to talk to me if I feel like e-mailing her. Her e-mail address ends in 69. Strange. I'm having visions of every webcam spam I've ever received.

Keep in mind, all of these have happened within 24 hours of my signing up for Myspace. It's not all bad, though. I now have "real" people on my friends list since one of them badgered me to sign up and that was the point and all. I also found Aroha, who has apparently given up on Blogspot and moved on to a Myspace blog. So I guess she has been updating, I just didn't know it. I guess I could add her back to the links list, but people can join Myspace and make her a friend to read it. Because Myspace is nothing if not exclusive to friends. And cyberstalkers.

So yeah, if you have Myspace add me as a friend. No, I'm not a hypocrite. Ok, yes, I am, but I don't care. Don't judge. I need normal people to be on my friends list here. Oh yeah, and if you don't have an account, don't sign up. Myspace is a bad place. Very bad.

Here's the link, dammit. Now go there before I delete it.