For those of you keeping score...

... I've got an extended sports analogy for you! We guys can equate anything to a sports analogy. It's what we do instead of talking about feelings and what diet we're on and Oprah and crap. I have no Oprah analogies for you, at least not today. Sorry. Anyway, few of you will get what I'm talking about or who I'm referring to, but that's 90% of my blog, now that I think about it. Thanks for still reading! You'll find my analogy at the end there. I know, that means you've gotta read the whole thing to get to the weak sports analogy. Too bad. Life is hard, and this blog is just another reminder. Wuss.

OK, back to regularly scheduled programming. I was in Orlando this weekend. I realized why I like Jacksonville better, though all rational reasoning should tell me otherwise. The problem with Orlando is that when you go to a bar or club or anything of that nature, image is everything. It's all superficial down there. It's good for people-watching and all, but apparently you need to be wearing at least $500 worth of clothes on your person before you're allowed to talk to anyone else. If you're wearing jeans you may as well be taking everybody's drink orders and asking if they want to start a tab. Seriously. Even worse if you're wearing sandals or something. It gets old incredibly fast. Were I in Jacksonville, however, I would have been the best-dressed guy in town. Around here, getting dressed up involves wearing something other than a t-shirt. Shoes? Optional. Laid-back attitude? Required. Much better than Orlando where snootiness rules the roost and everything (including the ladies) has a Disney plastic sheen. How did I manage to have fun this weekend, again? Oh yeah, that's right! Copious amounts of alcohol. Quality.

I was down there to see my sister, who was in town for her one weekend this summer at home. I'm starting to like her friends from high school more than my friends from high school. I certainly have more fun doing stuff with them... Kinda makes me wonder if I was born a few years too early or something. But then I think about the fact that I was born in the year of the dragon, and I'd really rather not trade that in. Because being a DRAGON means that I can kick people's asses like Bruce Lee. Karma owes me that much these days.

As for my much-hyped analogy? Also one of the reasons I was in Orlando? Well, strike #1 was picked up last weekend, as some of you know. Strike #2 was picked up late Friday night at the Ale House (or not, as the case ended up being.) I was ready to call strike #3 this afternoon until the phone rang. Let's just say she bunted and got on base. It wasn't a grand slam to get her back into the game in spectacular fashion or anything. It just kept her from striking out. Still, it's like the 8th inning now and it doesn't look like the tide is turning, I've gotta admit. I will not be putting forth nearly as much effort as I was. I find this easier to explain here than explaining it to you guys individually. Sorry. I'm passive-aggressive like that. I did find out that her roommate is nuclear-reactor-about-to-meltdown hot. Must look into proving Seinfeld wrong and pulling the switch. I'm shallow like that.

I'm sorry for this post being so random and sucking so bad. I've only had about 9 hours of sleep this weekend. That's no excuse, I know. But you guys care so much and I find it hard to let you down. Honest.