It really is a shame.

Y'know, it's a low down dirty shame that nobody takes pictures at funerals, 'cause y'know what? I was lookin' goooooooooood. Well, that is, until I went outside in the 96 degree heat with a 104 degree heat index due to god-fearing humidity and was pretty much instantly soaked since my very stylish black pants, blue long-sleeved-shirt, very sharp-but-properly-subdued tie and badass sports jacket ensemble were a little too much for that type of weather. It's not like I had a choice, though. Oh yeah, and all that crap you hear about your head being cooler after you shave it?

THAT'S A GODDAMN LIE.

All shaving your head does is open it up to getting sunburned, along with the sweat more readily running into your eyes since you don't have hair to catch any of it. Unless you've got like a giant cro-magnon monkey unibrow, but even then I'm betting you're still gonna get sweat in your eyes. I actually had to take a shower and change before going back to work for the afternoon. Damn those Nordic genes of mine. And my lack of sweat-deflecting monkey unibrow.

Anyway, the funeral service was very nice. The pastor said lots of nice things and referenced many scriptures that I have already forgotten, except for the one that sounded like that Byrds song that talked about a time to live and a time to die and a time to do acid and a time to go to narcotics anonymous meetings and a time for everything under the sun and all that. And yeah, I know the bible came before the Byrds song, so they probably copied it. I just don't want anybody getting all snarky in the comments on me thinking I don't know my shit. But yeah, the funeral was nice because our society tends to lionize people once they've died, but everything that was said today rung true to me. She really was a good human being who deserved all of the kind words that were said about her.

Yes, I was gonna put up an entire post about how nice the funeral was and all of that, but I'm back to being shallow and self-centered so a paragraph of that and the other stuff about unibrows and what I was wearing gets the other 2/3rds. Sorry, only a couple sentences of genuine is all you get. I have a blog, after all, and must do my part to maintain the shallow self-centered attention-whore stereotype that we bloggers share.