I hate "Truth" with a passion.

You know those stupid "Truth" commercials? The ones where they tell you that tobacco companies want your soul? The ones where they tell you that tobacco executives kill kittens for fun? Apparently they're claiming that it's working. I don't buy it, personally. Want to know why kids smoke? Because it makes them look cool. Because it's forbidden. Because their parents hate it. Commercials like these "Truth" ones only reinforce the behaviors that will force kids to cigarettes. Want to make a great anti-smoking commercial? First, get the dorkiest kid you can find. Give him a trucker hat that says "Smoking rocks!" or something like that, since we all know that wearing a trucker hat is like wearing a time machine to 2002, when that damn fad ended. Then show him having a caring and loving relationship with his parents, sharing quality bonding time out on the porch, smoking away the evening with mom and dad, the three of them laughing and joking with one another. I wouldn't want to smoke after seeing that. I guarantee you this will drive kids away from cigarettes better than any commerical telling them that smoking will give them cancer and the tobacco companies lied about it 30 years before they were born. Get me a job at an ad agency, please.

All I know is that every time I see one of these "Truth" ads, I want to go out and buy a pack of Lucky Strikes or unfiltered Marlboro Reds immediately. And I don't even smoke. If only I was somehow able to walk up on one of those self-righteous little punks filming the commercials, my life would be complete. I figure it would be fun to say, outrun him, or maybe hoist him up over my head, then light up immediately afterwards. I guarantee you I'd look cooler than he ever could while doing it, too. Then I'd tell the gathered crowd about how tobacco companies are being forced to fund these commericals that profess that they're the devil incarnate. Shows how messed up America's legal system is.

Can you imagine McDonald's having to run "we want you to be a fatass because we hate you" commercials? That's pretty much what's going on, and the "Truth" people have the gall to complain that the tobacco companies won't continue to fund them, since they'll have met the terms of the settlement very soon. I guess they're just ticked because their cash cow is running out soon, but I can't be happier that I'll never have to sit through another ad telling me what common sense has already told me. I think we all know that smoking will give you cancer by now. This has entered the realm of common sense. If we have to run ads like that, we should start running some that explain how you may not want to jump out into freeway traffic, since people tend to get killed by cars traveling at 80 mph hitting them. May as well run those Anti-McDonald's ones, too, since people don't seem to understand that eating foods with massive fat and calorie counts and not exercising will make you fat. Who knew?