I shake my fist angrily at Northwest Airlines.

Y'know, I fly a lot. You kind of need to in order to get where you're going these days. And yet I hate airlines. HATE THEM. I'm like the girlfriend who keeps getting abused, yet I keep coming back for more every time I need to get somewhere. All messy-haired, black-eyed, knocked around, legs stiff from being crammed in the little barely-reclining seat, neck hurting from sleeping with my head against the window, all of that jazz. And yet I keep trying to book flights with airlines and getting punished for it. Hell, it's still better than taking the train.

But I'm getting a little ahead of myself here. Let's start at the beginning.

As some of you may recall, I received a free flight voucher for taking a bump and risking my life with a certain relative. My sister is a student at University of Notre Dame. For those who live under some kind of sports rock, this is a school which happens to be known for its football tradition as well as its exceptional academics. I decided I would like to attend one of these football games again before my sister graduates and leaves the school forever next summer. I had risked my life to earn a free flight anywhere in the continental United States. I figured it was time for the voucher chickens to come home to roost.

I journey to Northwest Airlines' website, enter my Worldperks number, pick my flight dates and times. I pick a Friday morning Jacksonville departure to arrive in South Bend at a reasonable hour that afternoon. I pick a noon flight out of South Bend on Sunday. I don't pick any later because I know how bad that airport sucks with getting their flights out and I really don't want to be stuck in Waiting For Godot or something. Anyway, I click submit and prepare to beat the system. My total comes to $805.32. A pretty hefty sum for a weekend flight, huh? Not with my voucher, I say! I input my voucher information and prepare to cackle maniacally at my good fortune.

My total says $605.32.

This is not exactly what I was expecting. I check and see that my voucher is only worth $200. How can this be? THEY PROMISED ME A FREE FLIGHT, DAMMIT. An airline would never lie to me! They would never hurt me! They love me! So I get on the phone to find out what the deal is. After waiting approximately 23 minutes on hold (not that I was counting) I find out that vouchers can only be used for a specified number of pre-assigned seats per plane. This number is never told to me, but they do inform me that the seats were taken before I even received my voucher. Damn you, loyal Notre Dame fan base. Damn you to hell. I figure that one guy with a voucher got the one lone voucher seat on my flight. As did the other 8 people on the other 8 flights I could have taken that day.

Defeated, I decide to hit old reliable, expedia.com. My flight will only cost me $432 there. This is still way too damn much money for a graphic designer (an awesome one, but a graphic designer nonetheless) to spend on a weekend trip to visit family and watch a football game. At my sister's advice, I try SideStep.com. $397. Maki is now officially frustrated and referring to himself in the third person. Angrily.

I ask my sister if she's got any classes she could skip. Turns out Thursday afternoons are free... And Chicago Midway Airport isn't that far away. Midway rules simply by not being O'Hare, the black hole of airports which never seems to allow you to go anywhere you'd like to go without delaying you somehow. 100% of the time. As in always. Without fail. So I check AirTran and Southwest's fares to Midway. Now we're talkin'. $200.80 on AirTran, $197.30 on Southwest. Now there's something an awesome graphic designer can consider. Fuck you Northwest and your $800 flight. I think we have ourselves a winner. A winner, that is, provided my flight doesn't get cancelled or something else stupid. You know I've got a 50/50 shot at getting the right one anyway. Murphy's Law and all. I figure the pendulum is bound to swing my way after the voucher incident and my time on hold. And I've still got my voucher. Eat it, Northwest.

This has been another absolutely enthralling episode of Flight Shopping With Maki. Thank you for your time.