Tag week day five! aka "Silly bitch! Your weapons cannot harm me!"

Tag week continues. You know you love it. This means you, Tom. Holly sent this to me via e-mail, so it's as good a tag as any to use. I will edit out stuff I've answered already though. This one is extra-long to ensure less comments. Because that's how things work around here.

1. What time did you get up this morning? Alarm went off at 6:45, I got out of bed at 7:50. And that was after quite a fight with my brain sending signals to my limbs that were completely ignored.

2. Diamonds or pearls? Not Prince's best album.

3. What was the last film you saw at the movies? I saw Firewall a couple weeks ago. The best part was the extended instrumental version of Massive Attack's "Angel" that ran over the opening credits. I was disappointed Harrison Ford didn't point at anyone angrily, though. I mean, shit, that's why I go to Harrison Ford movies.

4. What did you have for breakfast? Cocoa Pebbles and a Starbucks Java Chip frappuccino. What can I say, I was in a chocolatey mood.

5. What is your middle name? David. Incredibly biblical, when paired with my first name. Which I never mention here anymore.

6. What is your favorite cuisine? Mexican. If that even counts as "cuisine."

7. What food do you dislike? All seafood, especially shrimp. I do like some sushi, though.

8. Your favorite potato chip? Do Doritos count? Otherwise, Baked Lays. Heh, "lays."

9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Mos Def, Black On Both Sides. Much better than The New Danger. Dude needs to put out more solo discs.

10. What kind of car do you drive? A bitchin' Hyundai Santa Fe. Seriously, it's a fresh ride. Feel free to stalk me on the roads now.

11. Favorite sandwich? Peanut Butter & Jelly. It's delicious and nutritious. A true American classic.

12. What characteristics do you despise? A good sense of humor and a keen sense of irony.

13. Favorite item of clothing? Low-rise boot-cut jeans. Of course. What the hell else did you think I was going to answer?

14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Antarctica. Hey, I need some excuse to go there, other than testing how quickly a Florida guy can catch hypothermia.

15. What color is your bathroom? Black & white tiles. It's very retro.

16. Favorite brand of clothing? Don't ever ask me that again. I'm not joking.

17. Where would you want to retire to? Well, considering I live in Florida already, I guess anywhere else. Antarctica?

18. Favorite time of day? Noon, surprisingly enough.

19. Where were you born? Orlando, Florida. Obviously I have gone quite far from home.

20. Favorite sport to watch? Basketball, though watching it just makes me want to play.

21. What laundry detergent do you use? Ok, seriously. Who wrote this shit. Coldwater Tide. Happy now?

22. Coke or Pepsi? Mountain Dew Baja Blast. Coke? Pepsi? "Zap yo dumb ass..."

23. Are you a morning person or night owl? Check my post times and you'll know the answer to that one. C'mon now.

24. Do you have any pets? Two partially retarded cats. Soon to be one once my sister graduates and moves into her own place.

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? Last regular-season dodgeball game at 9pm this Wednesday. Watch us play Planet Radio people. And win. I hope. Also, I'm pregnant!

26. What did you want to be when you were little? A chef. I think I just wanted to wear the funky hat and get free food.

27. Favorite candy bar? Snickers. Like there's even a choice.

28. What is your best childhood memory? Killing a home invader with my bare hands when I was 7. Bastard had it coming.

29. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? Bagman at Publix, auto parts deliveryman, technical recruiter, food service for Big Orlando Theme Park, envelope stuffer, hired assassin, intramural sports referee & coordinator, graphic designer

30. What color underwear are you wearing? That's for me to know and you to find out. Unless you're male. Then you need to stop asking. Immediately.

31. Nicknames? Don't make me hurt you. I think there are 500 variations that all use "mack" in one form or another.

32. Piercing? No. Is it a sign of modern times that I'm weird for not having any piercings?

33. Eye color? Sapphire. Azure. Blue. I can see into your soul. And it's ugly.

34. Ever been to Africa? Yeah, because I'm big on social unrest and government destabilization and getting shot at and shit. Especially when I'm on fucking vacation.

35. Ever been toilet papering? No. Always seemed kind of like a lame prank to me.

36. Love someone so much it made you cry? I love you all so much it makes me cry. Even Tom.

37. Been in a car accident? Too many. I'm a goddamn menace.

38. Croutons or bacon bits? Ok, seriously. What the fuck. I'd think you were running out of questions but there's still like 75 more to go.

39. Favorite day of the week? Anybody who doesn't answer Saturday must have something wrong with them. They're crazy! Insane in the membrane! God help them!

40. Favorite restaurant? Taco fuckin' Bell. Or bb's.

41. Favorite flower? I'm not answering that. Ok, fine. Tulips. Why? I have no idea. I can't smell flowers anyway, so it doesn't matter. Weird, I know. I have no sense of smell at all, apparently.

42. Favorite ice cream? Mint chocolate chip. It reminds me of the time I killed a home invader with my bare hands.

43. Disney or Warner brothers? Pixar. But does it really matter? WB did have that "What's Opera, Doc?" cartoon that is a bona fide classic. I mean, Bugs Bunny in drag as a viking chick? What's not to love? Don't answer that.

44. Favorite fast food restaurant? Wait, so this is different from that previous restaurant question? Is somebody just pulling this shit off the top of their heads? Why not ask this immediately following the other one? I hate this tag already. And I'm only on question 44. Like I said already, Taco fuckin' Bell, man.

45. What color is your bedroom carpet? That's for me to know and you to find out. Unless you're male. Oh, wait, never mind, I have hardwood floors. Because I am truly awesome.

46. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Never. It's not that hard to drive a car, people. I mean, really. If you failed your drivers' test you should just move to a city with public transit. Be lucky you get that because if you can't pass a driver's test you don't deserve to live in the 21st Century. In fact, you don't deserve to live at all. Seriously.

47. What store would you choose to max out your credit card? I am a fiscally responsible person who would never do that, ever. Best Buy.

48. What do you do when you are bored? I kill home invaders. With my goddamn bare hands.

49. Bedtime? Somewhere between 11:30pm and 7am

50. What is your first memory? Killing a home invader with my bare hands. I repressed that memory for quite a while BUT NOW IT'S OUT AND I CAN'T PUT IT BACK GODDAMMIT.

51. What are you listening to right now? The dulcet tones of my fingers tapping keys in rapid succession. And New Order's "Dreams Never End."

52. What is your favorite color? That's a rather personal question, don't you think?

53. Lake, ocean or river? I hate you.

54. How many tattoos do you have? None. Still haven't figured out what I'd want on my body that'll still be there 50 years from now. I'll get one when I figure it out, though. Maybe it'll be something like, "Trucker Hats Strike Back!" and it'll have a trucker hat and some of that ghetto-ass old english writing underneath. I'm going to the tattoo parlor tomorrow.

55. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Egg & Muffin Toaster.

56. What time did you finish this? Read the time next to the comment button, lazy ass.

Coming tomorrow: Tag week is almost over. Rejoice, since it will be a short one. Oh yeah, wish me a happy half-birthday since I turned 29-and-a-half today. Still not quite 30, bitches!