Not every post title is a song reference.

Um, so yeah. Hello, everyone. I hope my absence from blogging gave you time to reflect on life and the importance of computer power supplies and whatnot. And also on how bad my laptop sucks. And yes, I know I promised this for Monday, but hopefully you can forgive me for, you know, having a job where I have to be there on President's Day and all. And for working out to burn off all the alcohol I've consumed in the past week. Anyway, I have lots of happenings from a week's absence... Some good, some not so good. Days will be listed in bold because, well, I work at a newpaper and that's how we organize shit around there. Get used to it.

Tuesday: Valentine's Day. Worked out, showered, dug out laptop and hoped wireless connection still worked after discovering that my regular computer wouldn't even turn on. Got the laptop working with the wireless. Celebrated like a fucking dork who's home on Valentine's Day fixing his damn computer. Went to bed early. A winner is me!

Wednesday: Night #1 of 5 out. What's on Wednesdays? DODGEBALL. Our team played PK's roommates' team. It was probably the best game we've played so far and we still lost. Had shitloads of fun, though. Caz was an absolute dodgeball god that night. We went to the Ale House for a bit afterwards for some team bonding and whatnot. This is the weekly ritual, with them being our sponsors and all. I had to leave at 9:20 or so to go pick up my sister's roommate from the airport, since she had a job interview here in town the next day. 30 minutes later I get up near the airport and call her to find out where she'll be. This is a transcript of the conversation:

Maki: Hey! I'm almost at the airport! Are you outside yet?
Sister's Roommate: What do you mean? Why are you here?
Maki: Duh! You need a ride back to your hotel, don't you? That's why you told my sister the time your flight was landing and all, RIGHT?
Sister's Roommate: No... They're picking me up and taking me back to the hotel and it'll look bad if I don't go with them. Sorry about the mixup!
Maki: I don't think I heard you correctly. Maybe my mind has drifted since I've been driving up here for 30 minutes now, but I think you just said you have a ride and I don't need to be here?
Sister's Roommate: I'm really sorry! I'll give you a call when I get to the hotel and maybe you can come pick me up and we can have a few drinks?
Maki: Yeah, I'll totally be 100% up for that. What's another 10 miles when I've already driven 20 to get up here and I'll be driving another 20 to get back? Yeah. I'll get right on that.
Sister's Roommate: They're here! I'm so sorry! I'll call you!
Maki: Yeah. You do that.

Eventually I get back to the bar and everyone asks where I've been or where my sister's roommate is and I have to be "visibly annoyed guy" instead of my typical "unbelievably mellow guy." I somehow miss my phone ringing later on. Go figure. I almost go out to Cheers in Mandarin for karaoke but then realize I've already logged approximately 347 miles on my car with the evening's adventures and don't need another 150 or so with the trip to Mandarin, then home.

Thursday: I wasn't planning on going out, but it turns out I could get into the preview for the Auto Show for dealers and media. I didn't want to go until I heard it was open bar and free food; I figured that was better than, well, home. Sure, the bar there is open and the food is free, but it's just not the same. Besides, drinking at home alone means you're an alcoholic, goddamnit. Anyway, the show didn't start until 7pm. So we met up at Dona Maria's in Riverside for some drinks after work. Being the highly-paid (read: poor) graphic designers we are, we figure we'll only have one drink apiece and graze on the free chips & salsa for a little over an hour before we head over.

Our waitress had other ideas.

Despite being one of only three occupied tables outside (keep in mind, leaving at least 10 more open tables) the waittress hounds us to buy food and order more drinks every five minutes or so for our entire time there. I can understand this if there are people waiting for tables and we're bumming around, but with all the open tables there, leave us alone to drink our 2-for-1 beers and our chips, thanks. I would have ordered another beer if she had simply left us the fuck alone, but she blew that one. I told her to bring the check and then proceeded to sit there for another 20 minutes before leaving, with her shooting our table evil looks the entire time. Amazingly enough, I still left her a 20% tip. I should've given her a tip -- writing "maybe you should try another fucking line of work" on the tab. But I am mellow, nice guy and still left her a tip for bothering us approximately 43 times in a 75-minute span. What the hell is wrong with me?

Anyway, we make it to the Auto Show and head inside. I say hello to a couple people I recognize and then head directly for the bar. I debate ordering a bunch of stuff I usually never get just for the hell of it, but after realizing that I hate pretty much everything they're capable of making since they all involve gin, I settle on rum and coke for the evening since it's tough to screw that one up and the one martini I ordered was served to me in a plastic cup... Very much not the distinguished look one goes for when drinking a vodka martini. I mosey on over to get some food and discover that their buffet consists of jumbo shrimp, oysters and stone crab claws. Guess who is violently repulsed by shellfish of all kinds, especially shrimp? I rethought not giving in and ordering something at Dona Maria's pretty hard at that point. I resorted to following the food tray lady that had actual meat products like lamb and stuff. At least, I did until she told me to stop following her around or I'd be asked to leave. I class up any joint, I tell you that much.

Later on I discover that I am apparently the only man there (other than my gay friend and his date) who didn't completely freak out because someone named "Jolene" was there. I guess she does commercials for dealerships or something. It seems I'm missing out by not watching TV and seeing auto dealer commercials. She was nuclear meltdown hot, I won't argue, though. I wonder if people go to the dealership thinking she'll be there? Too bad they end up with some smarmy guy named Richard or Vince or Bruce who tries to shove 6-year financing on them and smells like Stetson cologne. Talk about false advertising.

At the Auto Show what one does is go around and sit in cars, pretty much. The whole giant rooms smells like new car smell. Not a bad thing. I, of course, check out what's new in the awesome 2007 version of the Hyundai Santa Fe and find out that the damn thing is identical to my car. Identical. Good way to motivate me not to trade mine in and get a new one, huh, Hyundai? Strangely enough, the inside of mine feels much bigger than the inside of the Hummer H3, though. Odd, considering the H3 weighs like 12,000 lbs. more than my SUV. I try to get in some of the nicer cars, but they seem to lock the stuff like Dodge Vipers, Chrysler 16s and Saturn Skys. Distrustful auto show people! Just because a guy's on his fifth rum & coke in the past hour doesn't mean he should be forbidden from getting in the cars. It's not like he can start them, right? I'm talking to you, Lotus cleaner guy who gave me the "if you get inside this incredibly expensive car I WILL be forced to fight you" look. Like I'd spill a drink in a car like that... I save that action for the Fords, Chevys and Pontiacs, imbecile.

I did decide I'll be getting a Saleen S281 Convertible. I will be getting it in the deep red shade that we named "It's Just Too Easy With This" red. Cause really, it would require no effort. None. Women walked by and just started rubbing their asses on the hood. I'm not even joking. Now I just need $90,000 and life is good...

I went home, prepared to fix my computer; said fuck it; went to bed early. Much earlier than it is right now. More to come later tonight... The weekend gets good.