Pluto IS a planet!
Hey, Scientist guy! Yeah, you! What the hell did Pluto ever do to you, huh? There Pluto is, all up in its oblong orbit, happy to be a planet for the last 76 years and all of a sudden you punkasses just up and tell Pluto it's not a planet anymore? Not cool. Not cool at all. All treating Pluto like it's some kind of second-class celestial body space mass type thing or something. You even have the nerve to call Pluto a "dwarf planet." Sounds more than a little derogatory to me. And no, waving a Disney stuffed animal under an umbrella doesn't make me feel any better about it. It's not even funny. It's flat-out lame. Fucking punkass scientists. Next thing you know they'll be classifying asteroids as "dwarf planets." Oh wait, they're already doing that. What the hell is the universe coming to?
I think the 2 Skinnee J's said it best. And hell, they said it 8 years ago. Talk about modern-day prophets! They were the only ones that saw this shit coming. I blame Neptune. Never could trust that son of a bitch. Keep pleading your case 2SJ's! The entire staff of More Junk From Maki is on your side! Now where's my 6th grade science textbook, anyway? That shit's a collector's item now, bitches.
posted by Maki @ 9:58 PM
10 comments
10 Comments:
Don't you mean More Junk FROM Maki?
But I digress ... Pluto is, and always will be, a planet! Don't these fuckers realize they aren't just declassifying a planet, but screwing up people's zodiacs?
Scorpio is now without a ruling planet. Watch for the chaos. You heard it here first.
Yes, I need to proofread these things better and not just run spellcheck only. Fixed.
Man, I hadn't even thought about the zodiac implications. I'm sure they'll make something up that fixes it. Who gets to do that anyway? I always wanted to just make up stuff and have people believe that it will relate to their day or personality in some way. But then again, the temptation to fuck with people and just put something in their horoscope like, "Don't ride in any cars today. Trust me," would be too great to resist. Either that or, "Make sure you've got good insurance and your will is up-to-date. Today is a 2."
There's money to be made here. We just need to find out the angle and FAST!
T-shirts in support of Pluto on a fly-by-night web site, or buying stock in R.R. Donnelley and McGraw Hill since they are the major printers...
Perhaps mental health services since everyone's reality is being fucked with. I mean, this totally fucks up the trick to remember all of the planets, "My Very Eager Mother Just Sat Under Nine Penguins," No what the hell did my Mother sit under? This is the reason people have aneurysms!
I have a poster of the solar system with Pluto on it as a planet that I'll sell you for "1 MILLION DOLLARS".
I posed this question on a different blog, but I still haven't gotten an answer--how the hell am I supposed to remember the planets now that I can't use the ol "Nine Pies" things? What will my very educated mother be serving us now???
Gordie: Mickey is a mouse, Donald is a duck, Pluto is a dog. What's Goofy...?
Teddy: He's a dog, he's definitely a dog...
Chris: He can't be a dog, he wears a hat and drives a car...
Vern: Yeah, that is weird. What the hell is Goofy?
Mickey and Minnie have filed for divorce and are in court fighting over the separation of assets:
Judge:(to Mickey) I see here you filed this divorce because you claim your wife is crazy?
Mickey: No, I said she's fucking Goofy..
Do NOT mess with Maki's solar system dammit!
PK - That's fucking awesome, man!! Hey kids, there's 9 planets in our solar system. Oops, wait a minute. They friggin' deleted one just the other day. Forget whats in your textbooks. (Not that they can read that shit anyways - it's not a rap CD booklet.)
I thought I was the only one who remembered the 2SJ's song about "Plutoooooo is a Planet!"
To kit:
My
Very
Excellent
Mother
Just
Squeezed
Ursula's
Nipples
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