Rumors of my demise were, of course, greatly exaggerated.

Yeah, you could say I've been busy. What with my regular work ramping up, my freelance work ramping up, my dodgeball work ramping up, my 24 and Lost watching ramping up and my social life in general ramping up, I've been kept away from fun time on the computer pretty steadily lately. But that's okay, trust me. It's a good thing. Well, other than needing to get stitches in my eyelid due to some new social activities, but that's a story for another day.

So, Valentine's Day. It's funny because I look at this post from Valentine's Day last year and it's almost comical to me. Am I really that different now? I guess I am... And the thing that made me realize it is a song, strange as that sounds. I wouldn't have "gotten it" a year ago, wouldn't have understood it and why it's so on target, but trust me. It's on the new Bloc Party (which is excellent, you should have bought a copy by now and if you haven't, you're just not cool in my book, sorry.) Anyway, it's called "Sunday" and it's got a simple line near the end that makes an immense amount of sense to me when I think back on my relationships the past year.

"You see, giant proclamations are all very well,
But our love is louder than words."

I realized I had convinced myself of a lot of things and was always constantly re-affirming them to the women I was with. I was always telling them how much they meant to me, how much I cared, doing little things to remind her, all of that stuff... When really all I was doing was trying to re-affirm those things to myself. Granted, everyone loves when someone does little things for them, but you do them too much and they lose all meaning. Especially when they weren't needed in the first place. When I don't need that constant reinforcement and neither does she, that's when I'll know things are right. And well, I convinced myself things were right when they really weren't. Which is okay, that's what life's all about, isn't it? Learning from what you've messed up in the past and recognizing it so you don't do it again. Because I certainly wouldn't trade anything or anyone from the past year and I certainly wouldn't go back to the guy I used to be... Because, well, he just didn't get it. Here's hoping he does now.

Anyway, hope you like the song and have a great Valentine's Day.