This is why my dad is one of the awesomest people ever.

Here, for your reading pleasure, is the e-mail my dad sent me and my sister last night. Keep in mind that my mom is on vacation in California, so this is his only chance to do this without her attacking and savagely beating him for doing it. No, I'm not joking. Enjoy.

A Bachelor's Monday Evening

Hi Kids,
It's garbage day tomorrow. I spent the evening cleaning the refrigerator. I had 3 criteria for disposing items, as follows:
1. Says "use by 2004".
2. It's black in color but black is not original color.
3. Is moving without assistance.

I know you will do a better job in your own homes.

P.S. I have very few criticisms of your mother but food management is not one of her strong points.

Love, dad

I spoke to him tonight and he said he forgot to add that his 4th criteria: if it was once a liquid but was now a solid, it had to go.

And people wonder where I got my sense of humor.