A visit to the used CD store.

I love CD Warehouse. I used to make a weekly visit, but moving to the other side of town kind of put an end to that. So I really go nuts when I drop by nowadays. Found some great stuff last Saturday and now that I've had some time to listen, I can give you some brief (and not so brief) reviews... And more fodder to make fun of me. Good times. Buckle up, this is really friggin' long. And thus, the show begins!


First up? Lucas - Lucacentric, an album I was literally shocked to see sitting on the rack. I'm sure the cashier was equally shocked to see that I was as excited about as I was. I'm sure 99% of you are wondering who the hell I'm talking about... Lucas was a one-hit wonder (that really wasn't a hit, since only my friends and I remember it) with a song called "Lucas with the Lid Off." It was one of those hip hop tracks that based their samples off of old jazz records, kind of like Digable Planets' "Rebirth of Slick" or A Tribe Called Quest's "Jazz (We've Got)," except it was faster-paced. I can't get enough of that stuff, and if anyone can recommend me more songs that sound like those, I'd be eternally grateful. Anyway, to make a long story short, it's the only good track on the damn disc because it was produced by a different guy, so you don't get any jazz samples or any of that on any of the rest of it. Truly generic early-'90s mainstream hip-hop type stuff. "Lucas with the Lid Off" is still a great single, though.
1.5 out of 5 stars.


Freestylers - B-Boy Stance. It only cost me $1.99, so even if it sucks, it only cost me $1.99 for 7 tracks. Still, it's Freestylers, so I'm bound to find something I like. I'll get around to listening to it eventually.


Seal - Human Being. "Killer" and "Crazy" are two of the best singles of the '90s, so I'm always willing to give Seal a try. I also figured that if it sucked, I could offer it up as some sort of voodoo sacrifice to get back at Seal for dating Heidi Klum. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING, HEIDI. Sorry. The CD is alright, it's a Seal CD. If you're in a mood to chill out, you could do a lot worse. You could do a lot better, too. No tracks stand out, which isn't the best sign. Even the new one had "My Vision" on it. This one's got nothing special. Average.
3 out of 5 stars.


Depeche Mode - Some Great Reward. It's the one with "People Are People" and "Master And Servant" on it. I've been on a DM kick lately after picking up the '81-'04 remixes set. This one's hilarious to listen to nowadays, because they're trying so hard to be goth. I mean, have you even listened to "Blasphemous Rumours"? It's trying so desperately to be dark that it's breaking Bill Simmons' unintentional comedy scale. If we have people who ever took this seriously, I weep for their collective level of intelligence. And I hope they killed themselves eventually. And yet I love this stuff. It's no Violator, but then again, few albums are. Incredibly dated, though. These days, you know exactly what you're getting with an early-'80s DM disc.
3.5 out of 5 stars.


Outkast - Big Boi & Dre Present... Mark my words, these guys are gonna be big. Seriously. They're gonna sell a ton of records once people discover them. Anyway, this is some kind of "greatest hits" disc with 3 new songs on it. There was a "clean" version of the disc there for $2.99. I paid $8.99 for my "explicit" version. I think I got the better deal by far. I'm not really gonna rate a greatest hits disc. Not worth picking up if you've got the other discs, the 3 new songs aren't all that hot, and "The Whole World" is actively annoying. If you're a casual fan, you get the singles that came out before Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, so no, "Hey Ya" isn't on it, and besides, admit that you're really fucking sick of that song by now.


Last but certainly not least, Fugees - The Score. I'm embarrassed to not have a copy of this until now. THIS ALBUM IS FUCKING AMAZING. I've listened to it at least 14 or 15 times since I picked it up. It's one of those albums that you listen to again immediately after it finishes. There's not a single weak track on the entire thing. Everyone has amazing mic skills, too. I never realized just how damn good Lauryn Hill is, but she tears up every single track. Whether she's rapping or bringing the harmony, she takes over every time she appears, which is a pretty incredible feat considering Wyclef is no slouch and Pras is underrated by most.

The production is terrific, too. "Zealots" should be taught in hip-hop production school as a prime example of how to build a track off a single sample (in this case, The Flamingos' "I Only Have Eyes For You"). Then you add some of the best lyrics on the album and you've got a classic. They all tear it apart, but Lauryn is best, capping her verse with one of the best, most self referential lyrics on the album, "Even after all my logic and my theory, I add a muthafucka so you ig'n'ant n-----s* hear me." That just says so much about the state of hip hop, and it was 9 years ago! This should be required listening for anyone who thinks G-Unit has any sort of skill or anything to say. I mean, they cover police brutality, drug use, homelessness, suicide and gun control, and that's only half of the songs. The real trick is that they make every song great to listen to, despite how dark the lyrics get. They also have a sense of hope to them, especially in the terrific cover of Bob Marley's "No Woman, No Cry."

Something this literate, intelligent and well-produced really makes you realize just how far the hip-hop world is in the shitter right now. It also makes you realize what a damn shame it is that the Fugees broke up, what with Wyclef Jean sucking now and Lauryn Hill losing her damn mind. Whatever happened to Pras? I guess he's doing okay. Yeah, he's doing just fine I guess. Maybe he's hanging out with Mase. I've never been big on The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill or The Carnival, so that could explain some of why it took me so long to grab this. It's like when these guys work together, they discard all the weak stuff of those albums and keep only the best. If there's one complaint I could possibly have, it's the skits. At least they're all at the end of the tracks and easily skipped. I've really been missing out by not having this for 9 years already. I can't believe someone was dumb enough or desperate enough to sell it to the CD store. An absolute classic, regardless of genre.
5 stars out of 5.

Coming soon: Maki's top albums of 2004 (only a couple months late.) This was fun, I need to do it more often.

* Yes, there are certain things I will self-censor on here. If it bugs you, too bad.