Vanishing act

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. Absenteeism, thy name is Maki. Sorry about that. Let's just say I've been busy and leave it at that. Here is my current priority list, in descending order so you know where things stand with me.

1. Work. I am the guru of our new publishing system at work. This involves working late and other assorted stupid crap, like answering the same question for the 300,000th time because I work with people who are 95% computer illiterate. Scary.

2. Watching gigantic-screen hi-def TV. Trust me, this thing is still worth every single penny I spent to acquire it. Of course, I've learned that cable is the great time waster. Cable devours time like Rosie O'Donnell devours small children. As in, really fuckin' fast.

3. Eating. Wish I could say I've been eating better, but I haven't. Bummer.

4. Working 2nd job. Did I mention I'm a dodgeball referee now? They actually pay me for it. Crazy, huh? I actually kind of like it. Good thing I have a DVR now!

5. Working out. Elbow is still messed up, so it's all circuit training and running on the treadmill for long amounts of time and long simulated distances. Matty grows lonely doing his "real" workouts solo these days.

6. Drinking, socializing and carousing in general. That's where my life is right now. Drinking and carousing are #6 on the list. I think you know where these usually stand, to get how far out of whack my priorities are. Sorry to disappoint, Holly.

7. Trading phone messages and e-mails with a potential. Sadly, it seems our schedules may never meet up since the last time our free time coincided and we saw each other was 3 weeks ago. Such is life. She was really cute, too. Oh well.

8. Sleeping. This is about where it usually is on the list. It might actually have moved up a few spaces.

5,476,493. Blogging. This has moved down the list slightly. As if this wasn't apparent already...

One day I'll write funny stuff again. Maybe. So, how has everyone else been lately? Anybody still check in here? Please say yes.

You know what's better than Monday Night Football?

Monday Night Football with my team playing at home. You know what's better than that? Being at the game. And you know what's even better than that? Being at the game... In a luxury suite. That's right. Me in a luxury skybox with all the free food and alcohol I care to drink. And the topper is watching my team shut out the defending Super Bowl champs.

Sometimes I love being me.

Musically-related things I have observed in a week off from blogging and instead watching cable TV include but are not limited to...

I learned that MHD (MTV/VH1/CMT's hi-def network) actually plays music. I'm sure this won't last long before they start showing Laguna Beach reruns and Fat Joe's Streetball Tournament, so I'm gonna enjoy it while I can. In that vein, here are my random thoughts on 6 hours worth of DVR'd hi-def music videos:

• Having CMT included in the rotation really sucks. I mean, really sucks. This is precisely what that fast-forward button was created for.
  
• All female country singers sound exactly alike. I mean, exactly.
• Apparently, Justin Timberlake is bringing sexy back. I was unaware that sexy had gone anywhere. Too bad his song started out catchy but ended up overrated and repetitive, isn't it? Also, the spy chick in the video is bony and scary. In a video for a song called "SexyBack," shouldn't the chick at least be, I don't know... sexy?
• Hey Five For Fighting, 1993 called and it wants its crappy video back. Just about every generic easy-listening guy from '93 was on lines 2 through 5, all demanding their falsetto back. Just figured I'd let you know, dude.
  
• Natasha Bedingfield's video is much better on mute. Much, much better. Wow, talk about a terrible song.
  
• Adam Riff is right, Rhianna looks like the damn Alien. Fivehead! No wonder the dude in the video is cheating on her.
  
• At first I thought the dude from Train was the most punchable music video artist in the world, but then that Fort Minor video came on. Hello, pretentious! But, not to be topped in that contest, James Blunt came up to assert his dominance. Holy crap, this guy is lucky he doesn't just get randomly punched out while walking down the street. Coincidentally, I think that might be what happened in that Train video. Go figure.
• That new Fiona Apple video for "Not About Love" is really good. Pretty much as quirky as she is (a good thing). Please, god, don't tell me that's her real boyfriend. I mean, I know the girl is insane, but c'mon. Yet notice how I wouldn't be surprised in the least if he was?
  
• Wow, I miss Dave Matthews Band. I mean, Julia Roberts? Thanks for the memories, but I think we're done here, guys. It's not me, it's you. Seriously.
  
• I don't think Gorillaz are capable of making a bad video. At least I haven't seen one yet if they have. El Manana is extra-cool, in fact.
• Kelly Clarkson. Fast forward, thanks. What hath thou wrought, American Idol? Can't she go away like the fat dude and the elf dude did? And that kid with the fro? I swear, he was working the counter at the convenience store down the block from me a few weeks ago. Honest to god.
  
• Hey, Chili Peppers, if you're going to rip off Nirvana's In Bloom in your video, don't add insult to injury by impersonating them from MTV Unplugged, too. The worst part is watching you guys thrash around as if you're really rocking out. Dani California is one of your most generic mid-tempo songs ever. Don't even try to fake it anymore, man. You're all older than me, for god's sake. And I'm old.
• Speaking of generic, what up, Nickelback? Still making the same song over and over and giving it a new name each time? Well, I guess it's working out okay for you. Keep it up!
• Speaking of generic part two, hey, check it out! Hoobastank's video is just as generic as they are!
• Was Pink always Kelly Clarkson with "crazy" hair and a nose ring and I just didn't realize it?
• Hmmm, Disturbed covered Genesis' "Land of Confusion." It's actually not a bad cover, but the video makes V For Vendetta look subtle in it's political message. Restraint, thy name is Todd MacFarlane...
• Ok, saving the best for last, it's confession time. Jacob is right... That new Christina Aguilera song is catchy as hell. I love it. And the video looks really, really good in HD. Plenty of gratuitous cleavage shots of Christina's fake breasts seal the deal. And really, if that's what music videos aren't all about, why do artists keep making them? Honestly. I need to find a way to save just that 5 minutes on the DVR because I swear I've watched it a dozen times now. So what if I lost roughly 50 IQ points in the process? I'm still in triple digits, and that's what really matters. That and the fact that I can listen to songs with incredibly-well chosen big band samples and a catchy beat. Who produced that song anyway? If they did the rest of the album I might consider downloading it. Ha! Did you think I was gonna say buy? Shyeah, right.

Ok, that's enough for one night (um, week?) Only other thing I can say is that the new iTunes is pretty friggin' sweet. Go download it. You know I just wanted to sneak one more link into this post to break my record.

Yes, today is the actual day.

For all those sick of the "observed" dates for my birthday, today is the actual day that I turn 30. Thanks to everyone who showed me a great time the past two weekends... And I guess everyone that will be there tonight, too! I'm lucky enough to have some truly awesome friends. And a big TV (3 more days... 3 more days...) I even got a call from my mom & sister from Europe this morning. Remind me of these things whenever I start to complain about something.

Wow. 30. I guess this means I have to be a responsible adult now or something? Doubtful. Highly doubtful. As I'm sure any of the pictures from 2 weekends ago or this weekend or tonight will likely attest to.

I was gonna be all ironic and post the Smiths' "Unhappy Birthday" but I'm in too good a mood for that so you guys get this. Enjoy!

Good times.

Yesterday was a day filled with football, and one that made the drive down easily worth it. I had my fantasy football draft with a bunch of my high school buddies at high noon. It's pretty much the only time I see them every year, so it's a fun-filled 3 hours even if the shouts of, "PICK ALREADY" that were heard every 60 seconds or so got old. But there's something about having college football on the TV (in hi-def!) and talking football non-stop and making fun of each others' teams that never gets old. It's almost a shame that group only gets to do it once a year. That league also has the best team names of any league I've ever been in, bar-none. From The Jax Double Homicide (my team, with the ever-popular OJ Simpson as their sponsor) to the Vegas Bongswat to the Taipei Trashtakkahs to the Pine Hills Pornstars to the new expansion Rochester Rash, the mindset for a draft with the Eric Hipple Big Play Football League is pretty much in place well before the draft starts. Definitely good times.

After the draft my dad and I went out to get some wings and watch the Notre Dame/Georgia Tech game. It's been a while since my dad and I just went out to drink beer, eat wings and watch football. And to be completely honest, it was really, really cool. My dad continues to be one of the coolest guys I know, and I know a lot of cool guys. We put down a few plates of hot wings, drank a couple pitchers of Yuengling, talked for quite a while and watched Notre Dame wake up after a terrible first half and eke out a win over Tech. Again, good times.

So now I leave Orlando to head back up to Jax to see what everyone has planned for me. My guess? Good times. Yeah, that's pretty damn likely.